Divorce Grief: A Conversation with Erin Levine

This week, Grieve Leave founder, Rebecca Feinglos, sat down with Erin Levine, the CEO and Founder of Hello Divorce (@hellodivorce) on our Instagram for a live interview. If you missed us live on IG, fret not, you can still check it out! (And feel free to drop a follow while you're there…)

We got into the nuances of divorce, the multitude of emotions we can feel after it’s finalized, and spoiler alert: Erin made Rebecca cry pretty early on. Amidst the whirlwind of emotions and heartfelt discussions surrounding the grief that accompanies the entire process of divorce, this conversation brought us a sense of clarity that we hope helps.

You can watch the full interview HERE and read three of our favorite takeaways from the conversation below:

“We don't divorce because we want to live in the past. We divorce because we want to see a better future.”

Many believe that going through a divorce is the end for themselves– but that’s not the full story. While it can be scary not knowing what our future will look like without our partner, it allows us to open up a world of possibilities, full of opportunities we could never have imagined.

“People that are considering [divorce] or struggling with it are doing so for two to five years before they file their divorce. And so, so many people are sitting in that, they are grieving the loss of their relationship before they even file for divorce. And those are the people that we and you and other communities want to connect with so that you realize that truly you aren't alone. That is normal, that is healthy.”

 You’re not alone! Leaving a relationship that no longer serves us or accepting the present and starting anew, is a really brave thing to do, and it also can come with its own anticipatory grief. 

“If you're divorcing an a-hole and your marriage has been awful for a very long time, the grief might not come right away. You might feel relief, excitement. But I think that you might feel it all at once. Like there might be days or minutes where you feel happy and other moments where you feel scared and hurt, hurting and excited and all these things, anger all at once. And that's part of it, as well.”

There is no guide book to follow on how to feel grief after going through a divorce. We may feel all the things in a given hour, or numbness for months on end. How we grieve is unique to us, so let’s destigmatize the path we choose to process these feelings and emotions after the end of a relationship.

Our conversation with Erin reminds us of the importance of recognizing grief in the end of relationships,all of the emotions that can surface during the grieving process. Let’s take the time to process what we feel– it just might help us feel a little bit better. Start by watching our interview here (the tech problems at the start just build suspense– stick it out trust us), and hey, maybe you’ll find yourself shedding some tears like Rebecca did. 

To connect with Erin Levine, follow her Instagram and check out Hello Divorce for an easier, kinder and less expensive divorce.