The Grief Gift Guide: What People Actually Need

Your person is grieving, and you want to help. But what do you actually give someone whose world has been turned upside down? (Spoiler: they probably don't need another casserole.)

Or maybe you're the one grieving, trying to figure out what you actually need while people keep dropping off scented candles and inspirational quote books.

Here's our guide to gifts that actually help - whether you're giving to others or giving yourself permission to ask for what you need:

The Gifts of Making Life Less Hard

A house cleaning service gift certificate

• Grief is exhausting. Dishes are endless. Even a one-time deep clean can feel like breathing room.

Reliable food solutions

• Not just another casserole
• Meal delivery service subscriptions
• Grocery delivery gift cards
• DoorDash credits for those can't-get-out-of-bed days

The practical stuff no one thinks about

• Gas gift cards (because somehow grief burns through a full tank)
• Target/Amazon gift cards for essentials
• Grocery store gift cards

The Gifts of "I See You"

For when someone needs to know they're not invisible:

Space for memories

• Blank journals with no pressure to fill them
• Voice memo recorders for capturing stories as they come
• Memory boxes with room to grow

Comfort 

• The softest blanket you can find
• Weighted blankets for those sleepless nights
• Heat packs for the physical toll of grief

Permission to check out

• Puzzle books
• Quality colored pencils and adult coloring books
• Streaming service subscriptions
• Audiobooks for when reading is too hard

The Gift of Time

Because showing up matters more than showing up with stuff:

Specific support offers

• "I'm your Sunday grocery Santa- send me your top 10 foods list"
• "I'll be your appointment buddy - doctor, lawyer, whatever"
• "I'll handle the school pickup on rough days"

Memory keeping (only if they want)

• Help organizing photos
• Digitizing old videos
• Creating memory books

What to Give Yourself When You're Grieving

Sometimes the best gift is permission:

Permission to:

• Say no to holiday events
• Order takeout again
• Not send cards this year
• Change traditions
• Use paper plates
• Let the small stuff slide

Space to:

• Mutesocial media accounts that are just too much right now
• Set boundaries around your energy
• Ask for specific help
• Join a grief group
• Book that therapy session
• Connect with others who get it

What Not to Give

Because sometimes knowing what not to give is just as important:

Skip anything that needs:

• Care (plants, pets)
• Assembly
• Complicated upkeep 

Avoid:

• Empty photo albums demanding to be filled
• Daily prompt journals
• Unrequested self-help books
• Inspirational quotes about "moving on"
• Religious materials (unless you know their beliefs)

The truth about grief gifts? The best ones often aren't things at all. They're the friend who texts "I'm coming over to do your dishes" and just does them. The person who remembers your person's name months later. The gift card that lets you decide what you need today.