The One New Year’s Resolution That Grieve Leave Recommends

You know what everyone's talking about right now? New year's resolutions. (And if you're grieving, you might be rolling your eyes right about now.)

That whole "new year, new you" messaging feels particularly heavy when you're carrying grief. When your world has been turned upside down by loss, those cheerful calls for self-improvement can feel like they're coming from a different planet entirely.

But there's one resolution we want to talk about. One that actually matters when you're grieving: Ask for help.

We've seen it countless times – people wearing resilience like armor. After losing someone, we become poster children for "handling it well." People praise our strength, our ability to keep going, to achieve, to persist. And we believe them. We think being strong means doing it all alone.

Loss has a way of shattering that illusion. Whether it's the death of a parent, the end of a marriage, or any other profound grief, that carefully constructed facade of self-sufficiency eventually crumbles. (Turns out there's only so long we can carry grief alone before it catches up with us.)

Here's what we've learned: Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness – it's a skill. One that many of us never actually learned, and one that we're still actively working to develop. Because just because we can do something alone doesn't mean we should.

So many of us do this: recovering from surgery alone, going to difficult appointments solo, facing hard anniversaries in isolation. None of these things need to be solitary endeavors. Zero prizes are awarded for our suffering.

Listen: Grief wasn't designed to be a solo journey. Our ancestors knew this – they grieved in community, shared the weight of loss, held each other up. Somewhere along the way, we forgot that fundamental truth.

So here's what we're proposing for 2025:

Make asking for help a weekly practice. Not monthly, not quarterly – weekly. Because small, consistent asks build the muscle of reaching out. Try:

• Asking someone to sit with you while you sort through old photos

• Requesting a quick check-in call when grief hits hard

• Inviting a friend to join you for that doctor's appointment you're dreading

• Simply saying "I'm not okay today, can you listen?"

There's no award for grieving alone. No medal for suffering in silence. The only prize for isolation is more isolation. (And we all deserve better than that.)

So before you write down those typical new year's resolutions – the ones about gym memberships and productivity and whatever else the world says you should care about right now – consider this one instead.

Ask for help. Let people in. Share the load.

That's the kind of resolution that actually matters when we're grieving.

Tell us: What's one thing you'll ask for help with this week? Share with us on Instagram @grieveleave